Top... (compiled over a few hours as they came to me...)

Unessicary Movies With Food in Their Titles That I've Actually Watched:
1) Hamburger: The Motion Picture
2) Hot Dog - The Movie
3) The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again
4) Return of the Killer Tomatos
5) A Clockwork Orange (Kubrik left out the last chapter, and ruined the book)

Puppets:
1) Puppet Angel
2) Hoggle
3) Animal!
4) Lady Elaine Fairchild
5) Bert

Lessons from Homer Simpson:
1) Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.
2) Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.
3) If The Flintstones has taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.
4) Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos.
5) Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname?

Random Facts I've Picked Up as a Librarian
1) Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
2) Any free-moving liquid in outer space will form itself into a sphere.
3) Barbie's full name is Babara Millicent Roberts.
4) The longest word in the English language is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
5) When designing monuments to people the position of the horse has a meaning. If it has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Things to do in a crowded Elevator:
1) Yell "Ding" at each floor.
2) Row row row your boat... Come on everybody!
3) Hand out the Watchtower.
4) Yoga
5) Exclaim "No, Pat don't leave" into a cell phone, then cry like a baby.

Songs Nobody Else Seems To Know:
1) Naked Girl Falling Down the Stairs - The Cramps
2) Ego - Elton John
3) Shine on Sweet Jesus (Jesus Song No. 5) - The Flaming Lips
4) James K. Polk - They Might Be Giants
5) Feelin' Good - Robinella and the CC String Band

Episodes of Joss Whedon Shows:
1) Hush (Buffy)
2) The Train Job (Firefly)
3) Our Mrs. Reynolds (Firefly)
4) Smile Time (Angel)
5) Graduation Day (Buffy)